


love me like you mean it

by jihans_sunflower



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Insecure Seokmin, Insecurity, M/M, OT3, Polyamory, Romantic Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Threesome - M/M/M, but it ends very cute and mushy, for some reason i just love this ship idk???, it's only talked about very briefly and not in detail tho!, seokmin feels insecure but he has no reason to bc minghao and mingyu love him lots, there is angst bc its me, trigger warning for abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 03:16:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15161339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jihans_sunflower/pseuds/jihans_sunflower
Summary: His insecurity worsens when he starts noticing little things.The way Mingyu always seems to rest a protective hand against Minghao's back, the way he looks at him with such deep adoration in his eyes.Do they look at me like that, he wonders.Will they ever?





	love me like you mean it

Seokmin didn't grow up in the best of circumstances. His dad ditched him and his mom when he was four, leaving her alone to raise him. She tried her best to support the two of them on her own, but her minimum wage job just wasn't enough to pay the bills and keep food on the table. 

He was about six when the men started coming around. 

At first Seokmin was too young to understand. However, when he got older, he was first taught about soulmates in a school lesson. 

His teacher told them that every person had a soulmate - a special person that loved you very much that you would meet one day when you were a grown up. 

He had went home that day and asked his mom if her current boyfriend, Jisung, was her soulmate. She had only given him a sad smile, but said nothing. 

For years after that, Seokmin was hesitant to ask anything more. He didn't really have to anyway, because as he grew older he began to understand a lot more clearly. He knew that soulmates weren't supposed to hit each other the way Jisung hit her. 

Seokmin wanted to help his mom, he really did, but he didn't know how. Jisung scared him, so much so that sometimes Seokmin was afraid to fall asleep at night. He spent many nights laying in bed wondering if he would wake up to his mother dead after he beat her a little too hard. 

When he entered middle school, he started to learn even more about soulmates. He was kind of obsessed with the idea of it, and often researched it on his own. 

On your eighteenth birthday, the name of your soulmate would appear on your wrist. Once you finally met that person, the connection would be undeniable.

Some people described it as feeling that you had known that person your whole life. Some described it as a spark. Some as more of a flame or fire that would be ignited within you. Nevertheless, every person said it was the most unbelievable thing you could experience. 

It gave Seokmin something to hope for, even during the darkest moments. All of his suffering wouldn't matter anymore once he met them. He would finally be whole again.

So he clung to that, able to endure the rest of his high school years due to his best friend Seungkwan, who knew of his situation and did everything he could to be there for Seokmin through it. 

They would sometimes lay on Seungkwan's bed together and have deep conversations about life and their soulmates - pondering what their special someone might be like, what their name was, how they would meet them. 

Seokmin can recall waking up on his eighteenth birthday with more excitement than he'd ever felt in his life. He wasn't expecting a cake, a party, or any presents - he had never gotten any of those - but he didn't care. 

Today was the day. The day he finally knew the name of his soulmate. 

When he finally got up his nerve, took a deep breath, and looked down at his wrist - he got something very different than what he was expecting.

There on his right wrist, tattooed permanently to his body in black ink, were two unfamiliar names. The first one being Xu Minghao, and the second being Kim Mingyu. 

He couldn't peel his eyes away, not believing what he was seeing. In his research, he had learned about people who had more than one soulmate, but it was pretty rare. What are the chances that it would happen to him?

After he was able to overcome the shock, he couldn't keep the smile off his face. 

He had grown up his entire life feeling worthless, unloved, and unwanted. Feeling like the world wouldn't notice if he was here or gone. But somehow, in that moment, he felt like fate was rewarding him. Like it was giving him something that could heal his brokenness. He was getting not only one person to love and be loved by in return, but two. 

He remembers feeling like it was the best day of his entire life. 

**\-----**

Seungkwan was an amazing friend, and Seokmin loved him to pieces. But right now, he really felt like strangling him. 

"Stop, Vernon!" Seungkwan lets out with a giggle as Vernon tried to place kisses to his neck. Vernon just giggles back, continuing to go in for more kisses, and Seokmin rolls his eyes. 

He let out a dramatic groan. "Can you two please stop already?" He asks in a rather hateful tone. 

He's used to his two friends and their public displays of affection but he really isn't in the mood for it today.

The pair pull away, at least having the audacity to look guilty. 

"We're sorry." Seungkwan frowns, apologetically. "We just haven't had a lot of alone time lately." 

Seokmin suddenly feels bad for being rude but he can't help it. Today is one of his bad days, one of the days where he is way too much in his own head. He has his soulmates on his mind, just wishing he was with them already. Wondering why it's taking so long for him to finally meet them. 

"It's your soulmates again, right?" Vernon asks, gently. Vernon is a good kid who has grown to be an amazing friend to Seokmin in the year that he's been with Seungkwan. 

Seokmin sighs. "Yes." He admits. "Also, just, my depression is kind of acting up lately." 

Seungkwan looks concerned at that. "You've been going to your therapy appointments, haven't you?" 

"I have. It still flares up sometimes, though. Especially cause, you know, it was my birthday last week and I expected my mom to call. But I heard nothing." Seokmin says, swirling his straw in his iced coffee. 

His mom was the only family he had. The rest of his family either lived far away, were distant, or alcohol addicted like his mom. That had happened after her abusive boyfriend. After that, she became angry and mean, and often blamed everything on Seokmin - saying he was the cause of all her problems. 

"I'm sorry, babe." Seungkwan comforts, reaching out to rub his hand.

Seokmin shrugs. "I'm used to it." He says. "It just got to me a little more than usual this time." 

And that's true. He's sort of became numb to the situation at this point. He's never really known anything different. 

"And you wish your soulmates were here to make you feel better." Seungkwan guesses. 

Seokmin just nods in response.

"You will meet them in due time. For all we know, they are roaming around this campus right now, looking for you." Seungkwan says, with a smile. "And until then, you have us."

"You've been patient this long, hyung. Don't give up hope now." Vernon butts in, offering up a comforting smile. 

"I know." Seokmin nods, giving both his friends a grateful smile. He's so thankful he has them. They are there for him more than he could even expect or ask, and they never make him feel like he's a burden for expressing his feelings to them. 

"You might not be up for it, but Soonyoung mentioned that he's getting a group together to go out tonight. He wanted me to invite you as well." Seungkwan says. 

Seokmin wasn't a very big partier, but right now, getting blackout drunk sounded pretty appealing. 

"I guess it could be fun." He shrugs. 

"That's my boy!" Seungkwan whoops with a smile, joined by Vernon clapping. 

"Trust me, it's just what you need. It'll be a crazy night." Vernon tells him, with a devilish grin. 

Little did he know. 

**\-----**

Seokmin enters the dimly lit club with Vernon and Seungkwan at around ten. The three of them scan their eyes over the crowd, hoping they might spot the rest of their friends, but to no avail. 

"Knowing Soonyoung, he's already shit-faced by now." Seungkwan comments, earning giggles from Vernon and Seokmin, who know how crazy their older friend is. 

"Come on, let's head towards the back. I'm sure we'll find them." Vernon says, and begins to lead the way, Seungkwan and Seokmin following behind. 

Seokmin takes in the crowd of sweaty and drunk people, grinding on each other shamelessly, twirling their hips and twerking to the loud rap music busting through the speakers. He's starting to doubt his decision to come when they bump into the rest of the group. 

"Seungkwannie! Seokminnie!" Soonyoung shouts out when he spots them, and just as Seungkwan had predicted, he's already wasted. Seokmin cringes as Soonyoung pulls him into a tight hug, clinging to him more than really embracing him. 

"I missed you soooo much!" He shouts, slurring his words. 

"Soonyoung, I saw you yesterday." Seokmin points out, which causes the drunk boy to pout. 

Seungkwan rolls his eyes, directing his attention towards Jihoon. "I can't believe you let him get this drunk already." 

Jihoon scoffs. "Let him? I tried to stop him. You know he doesn't listen to me." 

This causes Seokmin to laugh. He loves his crazy friends, and he already feels a little better. 

"Joshua, Seungcheol, and Jeonghan are around here somewhere. Jeonghan invited some guy he knows along too." Jihoon informs. 

Everything happens really fast at that point as Jeonghan and Joshua come stumbling together in tow, obviously a little tipsy. What stands out to Seokmin, though, is the tall and handsome stranger that's following closely behind them. 

"Oh, hi guys!" Jeonghan says cheerfully. "I am so glad you are here!" 

There's a small cough from behind him which catches Jeonghan's attention. 

"Oh, my bad. This is my friend, Mingyu! He's in my Philosophy class so we study together sometimes." Jeonghan informs. 

"Wait. Mingyu?" Seungkwan asks, the first to respond. Seokmin's suddenly aware of his best friend and Vernon's eyes on him. 

There's no way it can be. _There are other people with that name_ , he tries to remind himself. _Don't get your hopes up._

"Yeah, Mingyu, why-" Jeonghan cuts himself off, his eyes going wide. "Oh. OH!" He lets out. 

Everybody looks at Seokmin and Mingyu looks increasingly confused. 

"Mingyu, this is Seokmin." Seungkwan says gently, and Mingyu suddenly looks just as shell-shocked as the rest of them. 

"S-Seokmin? Lee Seokmin?" Mingyu asks in a hushed voice. 

Seokmin just nods, too shocked to speak. 

"Oh my god!" Seungkwan practically squawks from beside him. 

"I don't get it." Soonyoung says in a drunken slur, and is slapped on the arm by Jihoon, which effectively shuts him up. 

"You're my soulmate." Mingyu says, with a smile that takes up his entire face - one that Seokmin finds really breathtaking. 

"Holy shit." Joshua lets out, and that is all Seokmin can remember before his world goes black.

**\-----**

Seokmin blinks his eyes, his first thought being that he has a throbbing ache in his head. 

"Seokmin?" A gentle voice asks. Seokmin adjusts to the light to see Seungkwan kneeling over him with a concerned look on his face. 

"What happened?" Seokmin asks, with a groan. 

"You fainted." Seungkwan reminds him, and oh, that makes sense. Seokmin remembers meeting his incredibly tall and gorgeous soulmate and then - nothing. 

The same soulmate that is sat behind Seungkwan now, nervously nibbling at his lip. 

Seungkwan glances back at Mingyu. "Um, you remember-" 

"Yes." Seokmin cuts him off. 

"Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable that I'm here." Mingyu butts in, hesitantly. "I was just really worried and wanted to stay with you." 

Seokmin offers the boy a smile, to which Mingyu seems to visibly relax, and smiles back. 

"That's okay." Seokmin says, looking back at Seungkwan.

"I'm guessing you two want to be alone." Seungkwan smiles, standing up. "I'm just a phone call away if you need me." 

Seokmin nods, shooting his friend a grateful smile. "Thanks, Kwannie." 

When Seungkwan exits his apartment, there's nothing but silence. Mingyu still looks nervous and Seokmin _feels_ nervous. 

Seokmin coughs. "Um, so, I'm sorry - about the whole fainting thing." He says, and he's completely serious, but Mingyu bursts out into a laugh. Seokmin can't help but giggle too, and it seems like most of the tension from before has dissipated. 

"That's okay. Not how I expected to meet my second soulmate, but hey, I'm just glad I finally met you." Mingyu says, with a smile. 

"So you do know our other soulmate?" Seokmin asks. He had been wondering it since he first realized Mingyu was his soulmate, but wasn't sure when it was appropriate to ask. 

"Yeah. He wanted to come along really badly, especially when he found out you fainted, but I told him not to. I just didn't want to overwhelm you too much." Mingyu explains. 

Seokmin nods, taking a moment to think. "How long? Have you been together, I mean." He asks. 

"It's coming up on a year. Next month, actually." 

"Wow." Seokmin lets out in shock. A year. Both his soulmates have been together without him for an entire year. 

"Yeah." Mingyu nods. "But we haven't stopped looking for you since. And we are so happy you are with us now."

Seokmin smiles at that. "Me too." He says, and Mingyu gives him a smile back that warms his cold heart. 

It feels like the first day of the rest of his life is starting. 

**\-----**

"Oh my gosh, you're beautiful." 

Those are the first words that come out of Minghao's mouth when Seokmin meets him. Seokmin blushes, wanting to disappear with the way Minghao was eyeing him up so openly. Minghao was no less beautiful than Mingyu and Seokmin finds himself wondering how he got paired with such gorgeous humans. 

"Minghao! You are supposed to make him feel comfortable before you start coming onto him." Mingyu scolds, and Seokmin only giggles. 

"Hey!" Minghao pouts. "He's my soulmate, I'm allowed to appreciate his beauty." 

Minghao comes closer to him then, a more serious look on his face. "I'm so happy that you're finally with us." He says then, his voice hushed. 

Seokmin smiles. "Me too. And for the record, you are beautiful too." He says, timidly. It's Minghao's turn to blush now, looking shy all of a sudden. 

"Um, Seokmin." Mingyu speaks up. "We were thinking we could just spend some time getting to know you tonight. If that's okay." 

Seokmin nods and smiles, ignoring the nervousness in his belly. "Okay." 

They spend that first night together on Mingyu and Minghao's couch, talking about anything and everything. They tell each other about their childhoods, Mingyu and Minghao laying comforting touches on his shoulders when he opens up about his mom. They talk about their passions, their dreams, their biggest fears. 

And as Seokmin sits there in the middle of them, he feels complete for the first time in life. This is what he'd been waiting for. Everything was perfect. For the moment, anyway. 

**\-----**

Really, it's not entirely Minghao and Mingyu's fault. Actually, it's probably mostly Seokmin's fault, and somewhere deep inside he knows that. 

He's always had a tendency to be insecure. He's sure that it has something to do with his screwed up childhood, but somewhere along the way, he began to feel like he was somehow worthless. 

He never meant anything to any of his family, not even his own mother. The only person who had really cared for him growing up was Seungkwan. Somewhere deep down, he feels like it is his fault that his mother didn't love him - that something must have been wrong with him. He never expected that insecurity to come out so strongly when he was in a relationship, though. 

His first bout of insecurity comes early on, when the three of them first discuss the topic of sex together. Minghao had brought it up casually when they were all three at the couch together one day, only about a week after they'd first met. 

"Seokmin, um - We wanted to talk to you about something." He says, causing Seokmin to immediately look away from the show he was engrossed in. 

"Yeah? Is everything okay?" He asks, looking over at Mingyu as well. 

"Yeah, of course." Minghao says, offering up a sweet smile, reaching over to grab Seokmin's hand. 

"We wanted to talk about sex." Mingyu butts in. 

"Oh." Seokmin replies, a little shocked. 

Minghao shoots the older boy a glare. "Way to ease into it." He reprimands, and Mingyu just gives Seokmin a sheepish smile. 

"But he's right." Minghao continues. "I'm sure you probably guessed this but.. Me and Mingyu have been, you know, sexually active in the last year."  

And yeah, Seokmin had guessed that would be the case. For some reason though, it kind of stings to hear it. He shouldn't feel jealous, he _knows_ he shouldn't. It's not like they were purposefully excluding him from anything. 

But for some reason, it hurts. Because they've already known each other for a year. They have an extra year of time spent together that Seokmin will never have. And they also have an intimate relationship together that Seokmin doesn't have.

Seokmin, however, just nods. "Um, yeah, I did figure." He says, trying to keep his face as neutral as possible. 

"We know you probably aren't anywhere near ready for sex yet, and that's completely okay." Mingyu says, to which Minghao nods in agreement. 

"But we wanted to ask you how you feel about the two of us having sex? Without you, I mean. Just until you're ready." 

Seokmin thought about it. Was he really okay with it? He should be. However, he can't deny how the thought of it makes something ugly twist in his gut, something akin to jealousy, but even darker than that. 

But how can he ask them to stop? They've been with each other for a year, and have probably been having sex just as long. It would be completely unfair to ask them to stop that and wait for him. 

Plus, he just met them. He doesn't want them to see this side of him. The ugly, jealous, self-doubting part that he's only ever really let Seungkwan see. 

So, he lies. 

"Um, I'm okay with that. Of course. I mean, it's not like it's cheating or anything, since we are all soulmates." Seokmin says, adding in a laugh for good measure - hoping it doesn't come off as forced as it feels. 

Minghao smiles at that. 

"See, I knew you'd be understanding." He says, and that just makes Seokmin feel a billion times worse for being jealous. 

Seokmin tries to push the feelings away as he rests against Mingyu's shoulder, but he can't deny he feels a little sick to his stomach for the rest of the night. 

His insecurity worsens when he starts noticing little things. 

The way Mingyu always seems to rest a protective hand against Minghao's back, the way he looks at him with such deep adoration in his eyes. 

 _Do they look at me like that_ , he wonders. _Will they ever?_

It's the way Minghao and Mingyu laugh together about an inside joke they share, one that Seokmin wasn't there for. The way that Mingyu brings them both coffee, getting Seokmin's order wrong but not Minghao's - because he knows his order by heart already. It's the way Minghao casually brings up that his mom wanted to wish Mingyu luck on his upcoming exam, when Seokmin hasn't ever even met her yet. 

He knows they aren't trying to hurt him, but it hurts. 

He feels like he will never share the connection with them that they share with one another. And that makes him feel sick in a way that he wishes he didn't. 

He tries his hardest to push the feelings away, focusing on getting to know the two boys more. Within only a few short weeks he's already completely smitten with them, growing fond of their little quirks. 

It makes him feel at home when he comes home to see Mingyu in the kitchen, testing out yet another new dish for them to try. It makes his heart feel warm when Minghao excitedly describes the new dance he is learning to Seokmin after a long day of practicing. 

Seokmin couldn't be happier with them, and he thinks the universe did a pretty amazing job matching the three of them up. 

Despite that, his nagging feelings of inadequacy grow and fester, and eventually - come to a boiling point. 

**\-----**

Seungkwan throws his annual birthday, and being the social butterfly that he is, it ends up being more like a college frat party than a casual get together. When Seokmin arrives with Minghao and Mingyu the apartment is already full of people - some that Seokmin doesn't even know. 

"Wow." Minghao says in awe. "Seungkwan knows a lot of people."

Seokmin nods with a laugh. "That is Seungkwan for you. He never meets a stranger." 

"With all these people - I bet nobody would notice if we snuck off to fool around." Mingyu said, wiggling his eyebrows and nudging Minghao. 

Only Minghao. And Seokmin feels another familiar prick of jealousy in his stomach. 

"Shut up." Minghao says, rolling his eyes. 

Seokmin feels a little better with that. _It's not like they would actually do that anyway_ , he tells himself. Mingyu is only being silly. 

"Do you guys want to go find Seungkwan with me and say hi?" Seokmin asks. 

"Of course, babe." Mingyu says with a dashing smile. Mingyu is just so sweet sometimes that he's able to wash away all of Seokmin's worries for a moment. 

They go on to talk to Seungkwan, who is already drunk and very happy to see them - giving them all sloppy hugs. 

They meet up with all their other friends too. Most of them haven't gotten to know Minghao and Mingyu very well, so Seokmin sort of steps back and just lets them talk. Everybody seems to love the two of them just as much as he does, which comes as no surprise to him. 

The night is pretty good, better than most parties Seokmin has been to throughout college - though he's sure that is because his soulmates are by his side for this one. 

However, sometime throughout the night the three of them end up getting separated, Seokmin finding himself in a deep conversation with Soonyoung whom he hasn't got a chance to hang out with in a few weeks. After a while he finally excuses himself from Soonyoung, realizing it's been a good thirty minutes already, and looks around to see if he can find Minghao and Mingyu. 

He doesn't spot them with Seungkwan, Vernon, Jeonghan, and Joshua who are standing in a circle talking near the kitchen. 

He wonders out to Seungkwan's small balcony but they aren't there either. He sends a quick text to Minghao but after a few minutes, he still hasn't responded. He doesn't immediately worry, figuring he somehow just missed the two boys in the crowd somewhere. He heads to Seungkwan's bathroom, figuring he'd get a text back from Minghao soon enough. 

He knocks lightly on the door, wanting to make sure nobody is inside. He doesn't hear a response and when he goes to turn the handle, it twists, so he assumes it's empty. 

However, it isn't. And suddenly he knows where Minghao and Mingyu are. 

Mingyu has Minghao pressed up against the wall in a compromising position, Minghao's neck already visibly scattered with dark hickies. They have both pulled away, realizing somebody has walked in - panting and hair disheveled from what had obviously been a heated make out session. Seokmin is pretty sure he can even see Mingyu's hardness through his tight jeans. 

And for some reason, this is what it took to break Seokmin. 

The jealousy, the worry of not being good enough for his soulmates, the way he feels like he will never be able to replace the time he lost - all of it. Something just snaps. 

Minghao lets out a slightly relieved, "Oh, Seokmin." Presumably happy that they weren't caught by some random person from the party instead. 

However, Seokmin has nothing he can say. He can't pretend that he isn't absolutely crushed right now. So he just looks at them both, shakes his head, and leaves. He walks away, ignoring their calls for him, and has to fight back his tears. He needs out of here, right now. He walks briskly, in a hurry to get to the door. 

"Seokmin, hey!" Seungkwan. 

Seokmin tries to ignore him, but is pulled by his shoulder. 

"Hey. Hey, what's wrong?" Seungkwan asks, concerned, and immediately sobered up. 

"Nothing, I just need to go." Seokmin says, and he realizes he's already crying. 

"Tell me what's wrong, what happened?" Seungkwan asks, and Seokmin shakes his head, heading for the door. 

He ignores Seungkwan calling for him and exits the apartment. He starts running, not knowing where he's going to go, but just going. 

He can't think about anything else. 

**\-----**

Seokmin doesn't want to worry anybody, he truly doesn't. But when he finds himself at an abandoned park an hour later, his phone being blown up but his soulmates and friends, he just can't find it in himself to answer.

In his guilt, he does send Seungkwan a simple text, telling him that he's fine. Seungkwan asks where he is, but he ignores it.

Minghao and Mingyu have sent him several texts as well. 

_'Where are you???'_

_'What happened back there?'_

_'Are you safe?'_

_'Did we upset you? We didn't mean to, we're so sorry'_

_'Please Seokmin'_

Obviously Seungkwan's probably mentioned to them by now that Seokmin ran out of his apartment crying. 

He feels ridiculous. He knows he doesn't have a reason to feel this upset, but he can't help it.

He can't help but be insecure and afraid and wonder - _What if they don't fall in love with me? What if I'm not enough? What if they see all my ugly parts of me and realize they can't deal with them?_

He's interrupted by yet another call from Mingyu. He wants to ignore them, he wants nothing more than to be alone right now. But he feels guilty. He can't stand to just ignore them any longer. So he answers. 

"Seokmin?! Oh my gosh." Mingyu lets out. 

"Hey." Seokmin says, a little nervous. He hopes they aren't angry that he's ignored them.

"Yeah, he answered." Mingyu says, seemingly speaking to Minghao. 

"Seokmin, where are you?" Mingyu asks him. "What happened? Seungkwan told us you ran out crying and we've been trying to reach you - oh my gosh, we were so worried. You're safe, right?" 

Mingyu is rambling at this point, and Seokmin feels sick with guilt now, because he's obviously really worried them and he didn't want to do that.

"Yeah, I'm okay Mingyu. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Seokmin whispers, feeling like crying again. 

"It's okay, it's okay." Mingyu tells him in a gentle tone. "Just tell us where you are, okay? We will come to you." 

"I'm at the park." Seokmin informs.

"Okay, we'll be there as soon as possible love." Mingyu says, and Seokmin's heart beats faster in his chest just at that one little word. 

They hang up, and it's not long before two figures appear in the darkness. 

"Seokmin!" Minghao shouts, beginning to run towards the bench where Seokmin is sat. 

He's slightly out of breath when he reaches him, but embraces him in a tight hug. 

"Oh, I was so worried. I'm glad you're okay." Minghao says, softly. 

"I'm sorry for worrying you." Seokmin apologizes quietly after Minghao pulls away. 

"Don't worry about that." Mingyu says, as he's finally reached them. "We just want to know why you were upset."

Seokmin looks down then, hesitating. "It's stupid, really." 

"Anything that upsets you is not stupid." Minghao says, taking Seokmin's hand and intertwining it with his own. "And we care. No matter how big or small." 

Seokmin lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and looks over at Mingyu, who is sat on the other side of him. He gives Seokmin an encouraging smile. 

"I guess I've just been feeling kind of, jealous? I don't know if that is the right word. But I guess I just feel like... You both had this year together that I won't ever have, you know each other so well. I feel like maybe I can never truly be apart of this because I will never be able to compare to that." Seokmin says.

Minghao is wearing a frown and Mingyu is simply listening. 

"And the fact that you guys have sex too...I guess made me insecure. Because that's another thing you share together that I don't have. And I've been feeling like this for a while and then seeing you guys together - I don't even know, it just made me snap or something." 

Seokmin pauses. "I just don't want either of you to feel like it's your fault because it's not. It's my fault for being so insecure." He stops then, because he thinks they get the point. Also he's not sure how else to put his feelings into words. 

"I'm sorry you felt that way." Mingyu speaks up first. "And I'm sorry if we've done anything to make you feel that way." 

Seokmin goes to speak, to tell them it isn't their fault, but Mingyu continues. 

"Seokmin, you may think that for a year we were just living happily together without you, but that wasn't the case at all. We both felt empty inside because we were missing you. Of course we enjoyed having each other, but we still felt incomplete."

Minghao butts in then. "He's right." He says. "And we had so many conversations before we had sex for the first time, trying to decide if it was right to do it without you. It wasn't an easy decision for us." 

"We aren't saying this to make you feel wrong for feeling that way." Mingyu says gently, taking Seokmin's hand into his own. "I just want you to know and feel how much we truly care about you. Now I see that maybe we weren't showing you that enough." 

Seokmin shakes his head. "No, you didn't do anything wrong. Like I said, it's me." 

"Maybe it is you. Maybe it's not." Minghao says. "But some people need to be loved differently than others and that's okay. You are our soulmate, so we will do whatever it takes to love you the way you need. To make sure you know how much we care."

Mingyu nods. "We love you, Seokmin. We are in love with you." 

Seokmin feels suddenly so overwhelmed because that's the first time they've used the word love. They _love_ him. And he loves them, more than he can even express. 

He feels his eyes start to tear up.  _Damn, I'm crying way too much today_ , he thinks. 

"Aw, come here." Minghao says, pulling Seokmin into his arms for a hug. 

"I'm sorry for being dumb. And crying." Seokmin says through tears. 

"Hey, stop that. You aren't dumb." Mingyu reprimands. "It's good that we could talk about things. We should always feel comfortable talking to eachother." He's huddled close to Seokmin's side, soothingly rubbing his hand along his hip.

"I love you too, by the way." Seokmin says, which causes them both to laugh. 

"We figured, but we're glad to hear it." Mingyu responds, with a smile. 

They sit there, embraced together for a few moments, Minghao and Mingyu soothing Seokmin with comforting touches. 

"Hey guys?" Seokmin asks, his voice shy. 

"Mhm?" Mingyu hums. 

Seokmin hesitates, feeling nervous. But he figures he's made a fool out of himself enough tonight for it to not really matter anymore.

"If I said that I was ready... For, you know, sex... Would that be okay?" Seokmin asks, nibbling his bottom lip. 

"You mean, now?" Minghao asks. 

Seokmin nods. "Well only if you both want it too. Um, I mean, I know we haven't known each other long so-" 

"Seokmin." Mingyu interrupts, causing Seokmin to meet his eyes."Of course we want to. We would have been ready the first night if you had." Mingyu says, causing Seokmin to blush. 

"Yeah. Besides, it's not like we don't already know you are going to be ours forever." Minghao says, and he seems to have little idea what effect his words have. 

"Forever sounds good." Seokmin says with a smile.

Forever sounds perfect. 


End file.
